Coyote Ugly

Most of you know what Coyote Ugly is, but for those who do not, it refers to a member of the male gender commenting how he would rather chew his arm off than wake last night's beautiful woman. Of course, this is equally true for the female member of the species as well.

With that being said, how many of us are figuratively chewing our arm off with ugly fliers, poor websites, boring emails and equally dull direct mail? Taste is hard to quantify, but my Dad, who was in the shoe business and a "fashonista" in his own right often muttered about, "all the people who got dressed in the morning without the benefit of a mirror." He was even more surprised when he saw a garment that was totally inappropriate (in his mind) for a particular person. His comment was, "there's no accounting for taste."

More and more I watch customers just walk past fliers in bowling centers. They should. Because the fliers they are not buying are just plain ugly, confusing and do nothing to say, "Wait!, Stop! Look at me. I have something you want!"

Guess what our customers are saying? I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU ARE OFFERING BECAUSE IT IS UGLY, TASTELESS AND UNAPPEALING...and that's before they even read it!!

Please do your fliers in 4 colors and get them produced by a professional graphic artist. You can find them in colleges, grad schools or free lancing from their underpaid newspaper or magazine job. Make a statement. Show your customers that you are proud of the product you are offering and that's why you are spending a few dollars more (because in the overall scheme of things, it is only a FEW dollars more).

If you think they are not paying attention, you are mistaken. In fact, they may have already judged you and your business "coyote ugly."

Here's how to make a better flier 101:
1. Put a benefit in the headline. Its not about your center name. Keep it out of the
headline
2. Make a clear offer
3. Give the prospect a time limit to buy
4. Create a sense of urgency by setting a time limit to buy
5. Guarantee fun or get your money back (you'll be surprised that less than 1% of the people will ever take you up on this
6. Spell out the action you want them to take
7. Put your name, address, website and phone number on the BOTTOM of the flier

And you'll never be "Coyote Ugly" again,

That Sippery Slope

I was wandering around the Internet looking for some information about the NY Giant vs. Chicago Bears game this Sunday when I saw a sidebar that said, “Check out your IQ. Tony Romo has 143. Are you smarter than Tony?”

Not being a Cowboy fan and wanting to test this fact, I clicked on the icon to take the test. I got all the way through the 10 questions and was then asked to fill in my cell number, so they will send me my score.

But before they would send it to me they had to send me a pin number on my cell phone. When I received my pin number, I entered it in the box and guess what came up? It was an offer for a text messaging service that I would be RECEIVING…and it would only cost me $19.95 per month

Now if I had not read the terms and conditions, I would have agreed to a $19.95 fee for at least six months. And would have felt that i got ripped off, not a feeling that anyone likes.

Now you see why it is so hard to get people to open your email.

It’s because of shady marketers like this that the rest of us suffer. It’s because the element of trust between the seller (us) and our customers (them) has been so damaged that we can’t even get 85% of our customers, (Our Customers!!) to open our emails.

If you don’t continue to build the element of trust into your relationship with your customers you will begin, at least in the customer’s mind, to migrate more towards the type of marketer described above.

Build the trust first. Sell second.

That slippery slope just got a little slippier.

Hit The Demand Button

When I first began studying marketing, I was taught about the importance of satisfying consumer needs. But in reality, all consumers REALLY need is food, clothing, shelter and maybe a little sexual appreciation (so to speak). These basic physiological needs, once satisfied, would then lead our human species to satisfy more psychological needs such as self actualization, self esteem, achievement, etc. etc. etc.

As the years rolled on, I realized that satisfying needs wasn't quite as important as recognizing what people "demanded."

Well, think about it.

People need to lose weight, but they demand a Big Mac. People need to get exercise, but they demand a 72" 3-D LED TV to sit in front of and veg out. People want to have fun, but they demand something "different that they know for a long time."

And that's why they like bowling. They already KNOW what bowling is. They even think they know how to bowl. They have done it since the first bowling birthday party they attended. They did it, as a teenager, on a date; or as part of a group who conducted a fundraiser; or as a company employee who attended a holiday bowling party or team building event and THEY LIKED IT...but not enough to keep doing it.

Why is that? Was it because it wasn't different enough each week? Or it was not challenging enough? Or it was it too challenging?

Whatever the need or the reason, does it really matter?

What matters is finding the "demand button" and pushing it hard. Here's the button I haven't seen many proprietors hit in a long time.

This button is the demand for "belonging" to a group, or to "be part of something."

What compelling offer can you develop that hits these demand buttons?

Now do the Fred thing: Develop. Implement on a small scale. Measure. Modify. Repeat.

The New Normal - Part Two

I think this recession is going to last a while.

Even though productivity per worker has increased, we have less workers. The middle class worker who produced regular 'boring" stuff is now finding that stuff mechanized, out sourced or limited to the lowest cost producer. And its hard to differentiate paper clips, toothpicks and other boring stuff and sell it at higher prices.

So good bye to the middle class worker of "boring stuff" In fact, since this recession started, we have lost 8,000,000 jobs. And we are seeing a net replacement of just about 80,000. Do the math. It will take us 100 months or 8 1/3rd years to get back to where we were. Think it can't happen. It happened in Japan. They lost a whole decade

Stimulus, protectionism, spending cuts, tax incentives, etc is NOT going to fix this problem. But you can if you view this as an opportunity to be faster, better, smarter, and OFFER A GREAT ENTERTAINMENT EXPERIENCE.

Because if it is not great and I can live without you or get it less expensive somewhere else, guess what happens to you. "Bye, bye, Miss American Pie!"

Do something different than cutting prices... a couple of ideas

1. Train your employees to deliver great service. Yeah, yeah you may think you do this, but do you do it with every new employee; or every month; and do you make this a VALUE that your center must ALWAYS uphold?
   
2. Make sure your center is clean, clean and clean. Outside where the cigarette butts are; lights that are out in the parking lot, or corners in the bathrooms that haven't been cleaned for years.
   
3. Build relationships with your customers via facebook, emails etc that prove to them that you are concerned. "Here's some suggestions about kids Halloween safety, health tips, where to get flu shots, spending for vacations and fun. And oh yes, add some coupons for "family entertainment savings"
4. Ask your league bowlers for company party referrals and reward them
5. Go visit the businesses in town YOURSELF, build relationships with them and invite them in for free parties ( on those nights where you are trying to fill holes or build open play)

So stop trying to treat this recession like the others.
Because it is not.

It is the NEW Normal.
Part Two

The New Normal - Part One

How many people watch television and listen to classical music from their television?.

That's how "niched" we have become. Sometimes there are less than 100 people who comprise a unique segment." Perhaps that is a bit of an exaggeration, but it is no different than mass marketers trying to be individual marketers.

No different than when a marketer tries to be all things to all people with the same product. That's why Glow Bowl, COSMIC BOWL (and all the other "doo hickey" names for music, lights and bowling) is a unique product that appeals to a highly defined segment that we have the ability to market this weekend night product.

If people like it, why has no one extended the product? It's basic marketing 101. Not brain surgery. Some people have gone to BIG SCREENS inside the center and over the lanes with some amazing results.

But what else can we do to that product? Create 3D Bowling!! Major consumer product manufacturers and retailers are marketing this product. We can get in on the ground swell! Maybe there is even a tie in promotional opportunity for us!!


Do It Now. Buy The 3-D Screens; Integrate then Communicate.

Budget and Fund the communication about this great new product. Allocate at least 8% of your purchase price for advertising, social networking, PR and street marketing.

Other products like BINGO BOWL have an amazing appeal to seniors in Mid Western, and Western cities and towns. Casino bowl on the East coast uses the appeals of Atlantic City or Foxwood's, (works every where except at centers in South Jersey, Philadelphia or any place within 50 miles of either Foxwood's or Atlantic City.)

The segments get smaller; the niches get more defined and pretty soon we are marketing to just individuals. Thankfully, social media allows us to market to a segment as small as "one."

This is how specific it gets. This is the new challenge. This is the new normal.
Part one.

7 Ways To Get The Toothpaste Back In The Tube

I heard a P&G Senior Product Manager once say, "Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back." What he was referring to was the fact that once customers left one of his brands and went to a competitive brand, it was hard to bring them back to the brand. Real hard.

In thinking about our league bowlers who didn't come back this year, we can go through a litany of "things we might try." Here are a few ideas, in no particular order.

1. Invite them into the center for an open house and let them bowl for free
2. Send them a couple of free game passes and hope they will come in ...one of these days.
3. Create a new league called, "The C'mon Backs." Offer them lower prices, specials on food and drink and belly dancers.
4. Put them all on your email list and bury them in an email blast at least once a week.
5. Develop a learn to bowl better program for the lower average bowlers and invite them back to improve their skills. Maybe even for free!
6. Create an adult child program with these dropouts and get them to bowl on the weekends with their children.
7. Build a newsletter just for dropouts and build relationships with them over the next year; create special offers, contests, chances to get bowling equipment and to come in and bowl for free.
8. Forget about them and move on to newer targets.

I have tried all of these strategies at one point or another (well,maybe not the belly dancers) in my career with varying success. If you want to find out which one might work for your center, why not send a questionnaire to your dropouts and ask them to fill it out.

Ask them to rank these ideas; rephrase the 8th one, however! Or call 50 of them, your self, and ask them. Nothing like getting it first hand from the horse's mouth; that way you will be dealing with facts. (There's an idea.)

Or you could just try one and see how it goes. Less scientific of course, but at least you will be doing something.

Or you could just look for another tube of toothpaste.

Why bother?

Most retailers want to believe that if they reduce price and advertise the reduced price,customers will flock to their doors. After all the product is on "sale" and consumers respond, almost in a Pavlovian manner, by taking out their wallets.

Or do they?

In the mattress industry, furniture industry and appliance industry, there almost always seems to be a sale going on. So it goes for cars, clothes, shoes, pillows and bed linen, towels, toiletries, groceries, health clubs, spa treatments, telephone calling plans, computers and peripheral equipment, televisions and stereos, fast food restaurants. The list goes on and on.

Its probably harder to find a consumer industry that isn't on sale lately. But very few do it like the bowling industry. We put our product on sale and only tell the customers who were going to come there anyway.

Some of us tell them by placing a flier on the main customer service area desk. Sometimes we will even make an announcement. Others send out an email, like its direct mail. And still others don't even have a flier; they just tell their employees and hope their employees remember and tell the customer.

Its harsh to say this. I know, but why bother having a sale and not telling any one?

Yes, I know its expensive to advertise. But what if instead of cutting your price and giving up that revenue, you spent that money and invested it in media. Sure Internet stuff is important. Its contemporary. It's inexpensive. It's a dream...yet less than 15% of your customers even bother to open your email. That means 6 out of 7 people don't even want to look at what you are sending them. Don't take it personally. How many times have YOU said, "I get so many %#%E#^^ emails, i just trash 'em!!!!

GUESS WHAT? SO DOES YOUR CUSTOMER.

So don't go betting the farm on just ONE medium. Layer your approach. Test various campaigns. Test various offers. Work on it till you get it. Be obsessed.

And if you need professional help, give me a buzz. Its what I do...help proprietors to build revenue.

Just "don't do nuthin!"...please.